I have had to train myself to be fashionably late, because there are occasions when being on time is not polite. However, it's a fine line between being fashionably late and getting the "Hey, are you coming soon?" texts. I am rarely on the receiving end of those texts, as I am always on time, or I will give a heads up if I am delayed. That rarely happens and if it does, I always feel horrible because I have set a precedent for myself and it's what people expect of me. I don't like to let others down. It should be noted that if I am late, it's usually not because of me ( serious side eye to husband )
It is acceptable to be fashionably late to a party, but not a dinner party. I have had friends show up an hour after the agreed upon dinner party start time, and I have two things to say to these kinds of people: "What the fuck?" And also "if you couldn't make it on time, why didn't you just say so in the first place?" That's just rude, you guys. Making dinner for a group of people is a finely balanced act and you have basically just ruined my cocktail hour and we're now feeding you the moment you walk in the door because things are getting cold and I am annoyed. Thanks a lot, dicks. The same goes for games night. We're all waiting for you because you can't join a game in the middle. Don't be a loser, loser.
Secondly, if you are meeting me downtown for lunch, why would you constantly never allow yourself enough time to actually find parking and meet me on time? Meeting at noon doesn't mean meeting at 12:20. Once, sure. But every time? Not acceptable. I will never get mad at you about it, because I am passive aggressive, but you have to know that it bugs me that you don't seem to have respect for my time, like I do for yours.
I'm not a complete doofus. I know things happen. We're all late sometimes. It's just that in my experience, most of these instances can be avoided with a little forethought, okay? FORETHOUGHT. As in....it takes 10 minutes to drive downtown, and maybe 10 minutes to find parking, okay, better give myself 30 minutes to be safe. It's okay to be early. You can learn the fine art of loitering. Or window shopping. Or being the first one there for once. Being early is what iPhones are made for.
Conversely, it's not okay to be early to something that your friends are hosting at their homes. It's okay to be exactly on time, but not 20 minutes early. That's also rude, unless you have been specifically asked to come over. Because sometimes those last 20 minutes are important for quickly pounding a beer in the shower while you get into party mode.
I'm also really done with waiting on clients. Our appointment is at 1 pm. It's not cool that you keep me in the waiting room for 30 - 45 minutes because of God knows why. Even worse, you're not in the building and no one can find you. Thanks, assface. Clearly my time is not as valuable as yours.
It's pretty simple really. You know where you're meant to be and when. Chances are you've had days, maybe even weeks to plan your life around this event. But just in case you were still left wondering, I'm going to lay it out for you.
Here are the rules:
Dinner party: Be on time. Bring wine.
House party: Be no more than 30 minutes late, unless noted, and never show up before the event start time.
Meeting friends: Be on time. You have a 10 minute grace period, but this shouldn't always be used. Work Meeting: Be on time, stick to your schedule. I mean, seriously. We all have places to be.
Now you've read this, don't be alarmed if you're late meeting me. Most of the people I know now have kids, and now I just expect them to be late, so I'm trying to be more relaxed with my own timeline. But if you don't have kids or another crippling condition, you better be on time, yo. Or else. Or else I will totally not bring it up ever and then one day you will read this blog post and you will be SO bad.