This Happened.

I was swimming in the Nanaimo River this weekend, minding my own business with a nice orange floatie, when a SNAKE tried to hitch a ride. A snake.

The thing slithered up on to my floatie, scaring the bejesus out of me. My friend threw it back in the water, where it proceeded to get caught in the current, and was heading back toward me. And then a boy stepped in and saved the day (and the snake), and put the snake on solid ground, which was what the poor bugger was looking for all along.

Horrifying.

This all happened about 10 minutes after I attempted to cross the river with my tiny dog. And then I slipped on the rocks, lost my flip flops, my floatie, and my dog. Went for the dog first, obviously. Got her. Then got the floatie. Then managed, at last, to get my flip flops, which were floating in circles, in a fast eddy.

It was hilarious for everyone on shore.

Dicks.